Postcards From The 8

Dear Mr. Bennett,

I am writing to you because you are my neighbor, and because you supported Proposition 8. I am writing to tell you how, and why, what you did affected my family. But first I want to share with you what In Re: Marriage Cases, the California Supreme Court decision of this past May, meant to my family.

On June 17th, 2008 – the first day it was legal for us to do so – I married my partner in a civil ceremony at the County Clerk’s office here in Sacramento. My spouse’s best friend from college served as his best man. My brother served as my best man – just as 13 years ago I served as his – and he brought his wife and two daughters to witness our joy. My 8 year-old niece was so excited to be flower-girl that she could hardly sit still. One of my best friends from college, along with her fiancé, drove up from San Francisco to serve as additional witnesses.

Knowing that my family is now protected under the law, knowing that I now have someone with whom I will share all my burdens and cares all the days of my life, knowing that my friends and relatives were happy, joyful, and eager to stand before the state and say “yes, this is a good thing, and we are here to witness it” – all of that means so much to me that I cannot but share my happiness with others. And it is this thing – legal protection for my family – that the California Supreme Court made possible for me and my spouse.

Having the protection of the state is fundamental for my family – but so is knowing that we have the watchful care of the community on us. That watchful care will be vital when we step forward to take responsibility for bringing up children – as we intend to do in the next few years. That watchful care will be vital when the time comes to take up the joyful responsibility of taking care of our parents. That watchful care will be vital whenever we need advice and support for the decisions we make together.

That watchful care is what we intend to ask our friends and relatives to commit to, when we invite them to stand with us, before God, and witness our marriage in a religious ceremony at a Congregational church here in Sacramento. Making those promises with my spouse, before God and all creation, and knowing that I have the watchful care of my community on those promises, is something to which I look forward with so much joy in my heart that I cannot but share my happiness with others.

It is true that Proposition 8 hurt. It was a slap in the face to my family and to everyone who knows us. But I thank God and the good people of the state of California, knowing that my family is safe, and knowing that come April I will have the watchful care of my community on my marriage, no matter what happened on November 4th.

For as much as it hurt, I know that when someone strikes me on the right cheek, I must turn to him the other also. So I look forward to the day when we have another election on this. I look forward to the day when others will have what I have. I look forward to the day when everyone I know and love will be in a family, protected by the state, and under the watchful care of our community.

Sincerely yours,

Bayliss J. Camp