Postcards From The 8

Dear Bishop;

I write this letter to you as an admirer of your leadership, as someone who wants dearly to be your good friend, and a person who desperately wants your leadership to be a success in our community.

I have a gay son and a gay son-in-law. They love our family and my son-in-law’s family. They got married in June, 2008, the first day it was legal in California. My wife and I also have a son and daughter-in-law who have three beautiful grandchildren and are active members of their Catholic parish.

When this whole debate about whether my youngest son would have the same treatment as my oldest son, I was forced to think seriously about what this whole discussion of marriage was all about. What about my own marriage, did I understand it as well. I have often felt my youngest son spoke most clearly about what his family meant to him and what he hoped to pass on to his children and the rest of his younger relatives.

When we got married in March of 1973, my wife and I talked about and thought about what our commitment meant to each other and to all the members of our two families. In many ways it was not only a marriage between two people, but a marriage between two families. So being a family was not just about sex and having children. Our marriage is really about looking out for each other, sharing our daily triumphs and challenges. Our marriage is about being a part of each other’s families. It is about knowing that whatever happens to us, there is a whole group of family relatives that will take care of our children and grand children as we will take care of theirs. Our families are truly about creating a supportive network of caring and thoughtful people who we can count on.

When I heard that your church was against my son getting married, I wondered, “Who are these people and what are their values, their principles, their goals? Just what kind of people are they? I do not understand. Are these people who do not want me to have grandchildren? Are these people hoping that I will die alone and desperate in my old age? Are these people who want to kill off my family line? What are they thinking? What are their values, and why do they hate my son and my family?

You may be remembered as a great leader someday. I hope you will be remembered as the kind of leader that helped us all to find a way to cleanse our community of this hatred against my son and our family.

Please help.

With all the sincerity of which I am capable, I remain a good Christian in my church and I hope with all my heart we can work this out. My family and my grandchildren depend on it.

Bill Camp