Postcards From The 8

Dear Neighbor and Supporter of Proposition 8,

I am writing because you are my neighbor and because you gave financial support to Proposition 8. I want to let you know that it has negatively affected some of my colleagues. I also believe it does not support the ideals of this great nation that has given us so much.

Some colleagues at work must now walk down the hallways and wonder whether those they meet and with whom they work have defined them with less dignity and respect than other colleagues. They wonder why their fellow Californians like yourself have defined them as outsiders not worthy of being recognized as full citizens or of being fully accepted by you and others for their efforts to contribute to making America a better place in which to live.

Still other colleagues are experiencing the stress that comes with not knowing what will happen to their marriage when it was legal. Will it be taken away from them? Will they no longer have the full protection of the state? Will they no longer have legitimate family relationships as you undoubtedly do? Proposition 8 hurt them deeply.

America is a nation founded on principles, among them the inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There have been many struggles over the years to live up to our principles, to implement them in ways that enhance the opportunity for citizens to be treated with dignity and respect as Americans. Proposition 8 deprives many Californians of the inalienable right to liberty (freedom from arbitrary control & the positive enjoyment of various social and political rights) and the pursuit of happiness (a feeling of well-being and contentment). Marriage is a union sanctioned by the state and recognized by everyone as among the most happy and joyous occasions to celebrate two people coming together to share the burdens and joys of life together. Your support of Proposition 8 has taken that away.

I look forward to another election and it will surely come. Hopefully you will pause to reflect on your past support of Proposition 8 and will come to realize that it takes away from the best that is America. America is a nation of endless diversity. The best of America is working to develop tolerance and acceptance of that diversity based on our founding principles. The ugly side of our country is when we vote to deny some of our law-abiding fellow citizens the human dignity and respect they so well deserve.

Sincerely yours,

Dean S. Dorn

Dear Bishop;

I write this letter to you as an admirer of your leadership, as someone who wants dearly to be your good friend, and a person who desperately wants your leadership to be a success in our community.

I have a gay son and a gay son-in-law. They love our family and my son-in-law’s family. They got married in June, 2008, the first day it was legal in California. My wife and I also have a son and daughter-in-law who have three beautiful grandchildren and are active members of their Catholic parish.

When this whole debate about whether my youngest son would have the same treatment as my oldest son, I was forced to think seriously about what this whole discussion of marriage was all about. What about my own marriage, did I understand it as well. I have often felt my youngest son spoke most clearly about what his family meant to him and what he hoped to pass on to his children and the rest of his younger relatives.

When we got married in March of 1973, my wife and I talked about and thought about what our commitment meant to each other and to all the members of our two families. In many ways it was not only a marriage between two people, but a marriage between two families. So being a family was not just about sex and having children. Our marriage is really about looking out for each other, sharing our daily triumphs and challenges. Our marriage is about being a part of each other’s families. It is about knowing that whatever happens to us, there is a whole group of family relatives that will take care of our children and grand children as we will take care of theirs. Our families are truly about creating a supportive network of caring and thoughtful people who we can count on.

When I heard that your church was against my son getting married, I wondered, “Who are these people and what are their values, their principles, their goals? Just what kind of people are they? I do not understand. Are these people who do not want me to have grandchildren? Are these people hoping that I will die alone and desperate in my old age? Are these people who want to kill off my family line? What are they thinking? What are their values, and why do they hate my son and my family?

You may be remembered as a great leader someday. I hope you will be remembered as the kind of leader that helped us all to find a way to cleanse our community of this hatred against my son and our family.

Please help.

With all the sincerity of which I am capable, I remain a good Christian in my church and I hope with all my heart we can work this out. My family and my grandchildren depend on it.

Bill Camp

To: Fellow Methodist
From: Tom Camp, M.D.

Recently the voters of California have put up a road block to the stability of gay couples. They have prevented their marriages.

As I think about this, I am reminded of the times in the fairly recent past when “main stream” Christianity have taken stands that they later came to realize was against what the Bible and Jesus teaches us. Two glaring examples were our unwillingness to take a stand against slavery prior to the Civil War and our passive support for segregation in the southern part of the US when I was a child. I vividly remember a Methodist pastor, who was also my uncle, preaching about how God wanted the “black birds and the white birds” to fly in their own flocks.

I think it is no great leap of logic to say, in the next generation, Methodism will be, or at least should be, on the forefront of the movement to allow our fellow gay members of society to be treated with respect and have the same legal rights as other members of our society.

I have gay family members, gay employees, gay professional colleagues, and gay friends who are all being discriminated against. The ones I personally know are all productive members of our society. They hold professional jobs, pay taxes, are active in both their professional and community organizations, and attend churches.

So, the question is why do we not want them to be allowed to marry and enjoy the same rights as our “straight friends”? It is well recognized that married couples are more productive, add more to the community, and function to serve society better than their unmarried counterparts.
Give this some thought. If you are praying person, give this some prayer.

Nath T. Camp, M.D.

Dear Supporter of Proposition 8,

It is now almost one month since the November 4, 2008 election, and I am still at a loss to understand what motivated a majority of California voters to choose intolerance and divisiveness over the simple acceptance of the relationships of their neighbors, colleagues and friends.

I suppose that during the campaign, I didn’t want to believe that the people I read about in the newspaper or the ones I saw on television or the internet would win the day. You know who you are—exploiting your small, cute children to sing pathetic songs about how confusing same-sex marriage is for kids; marching around with your protest signs, fervently claiming that the end of traditional marriage and perhaps even the end of the world is upon us because of gay marriage; screaming hate-filled epithets at couples seeking only the same legal protections that you and I and any other heterosexual adults in America take for granted.

I was wrong to underestimate the strength of your intolerance. But please give me this opportunity to offer my opinion, for whatever it is worth, regarding same-sex marriage. Perhaps you will think on these pieces of information when the next challenge to Proposition 8 arises in California. Or perhaps a like-minded voter will think on it in another one of the too-many states that have banned gay marriage the next time those measures are challenged in court or on the ballot (there will always be a next time—I hope you realize that).

First, let me say that I live in Massachusetts. I have gay and straight friends, colleagues and neighbors here who are married and raising families. I have gay and straight friends who are unmarried because they choose to be unmarried. It’s pretty nice to be in a place where people aren’t prevented from exercising basic human rights and freedoms just because of their sexuality. And you know what? The world isn’t ending. And you know what else? My two young children aren’t confused as to what a family is. They know that they have a mom and dad, that the kid next door has two moms, that a friend from preschool has two dads, and that all of them are pretty lucky to live in homes with parents who love them and take care of them.

Second, how can you refuse to acknowledge the parallels between laws like Proposition 8 and the anti-miscegenation laws that were valid in so many states until the Supreme Court decided Loving v. Virginia in 1967? That case struck down a Virginia law that forbade white people from marrying people of color. The Court held that marriage is a fundamental human right, and that the equal protection of the law meant protection for the choice to marry someone of a different race, even if other people didn’t like it. Up until 1967, anti-miscegenation laws were upheld as constitutional because of the popular view that “race-mixing” represented the erosion of traditional marriage and that it was considered unholy in the Bible. Do these allegations sound familiar? They should, since they are the same, recycled arguments that are being made today. We should be ashamed as a nation that those anti-miscegenation laws stood for as long as they did. I can only hope that a few years from now we will look back on Proposition 8 and its kin as old, dead laws, and that we will shake our heads with shame that it took us so long to learn to treat each other with equality, humanity, kindness and grace.

--Sudha S.